The journey ends here. Or maybe it begins !

TheJoyIsInTheJourney

It’s now been almost a month post graduated and I know that I am almost late by these many days to make this blog post but nevertheless here it goes…

How do I sum up all the years I spent in college? How can one begin to describe a journey which seemed oh-college-then-job-sort-of-cliched yet never failed to create a new perspective with every passing year? How can one possibly able to do justice to all those memories lived, just by writing one blog post? I would dare not. Hence nothing of this is about college. He he.

Two more months and everyone will get busy with their own jobs, own careers, own lives. Sure everyone would promise to stay in touch but let’s be honest here, we all know how that would turn out to be. You want a quick proof? Just count the number of school friends that you are in touch with now? This is just another phase which gets repeated every year, only with different people. We are growing up. We are getting ready to face the world outside the door. We are becoming one of them. We are trying our shoelaces to go out there and find ourselves in the crowd. The sea of anonymity outside our doors is waiting to swallow few thousands of us. And we are trying to sail our boats. Towards the future. We haven’t seen the future yet but will it stop us from sailing? No.

Some will survive. Rest will become particles. Particles which will ultimately reach the shore; not sooner, later. But isn’t the race all about to reach there faster? To earn more? To spend more? To become the king of our own little kingdom?

And then one fine morning, when you wake up from your slumber, you realize you’ve never actually slept. The years have gone by in front of your eyes, and you’ve let them pass. You have seen them passing and you remember every year, every month, every day, every minute and every second, passing in front of your eyes; eyes which were wide open, dreaming about something which never existed in the first place. You keep telling yourself lies until they become an integral part of you. You become the part of the world which you’ve created for yourself, and the funny thing is, you feel suffocated. In your own goddamn world. The reality acts as an oxygen mask, and no matter how much you hate it, you can never dare to remove it.

You actually start seeing the pattern, you start predicting things, and you predict them correctly nine out of ten times. And you know why you fail the tenth time? Because a small part of you still expect things to be how you want them to be. And when this tenth time gets repeated a thousand times, you realize the randomness. You start being one of them. You stop being you, you become them. You become a particle. You become the randomness.

You realize how life has been fucking up your plans since forever. Sometimes it’s suffocating, sometimes it’s hysterical and the rest of the times it’s just plain nothing. The depth in which your choices echo till you scream your lungs out. An infinite in which you are falling relentlessly, opposing every force of this universe. A life which is a rock bottom in itself, and it keeps hitting you, till you feel numb.

When everyone around you has defined the term success in their own way and are constantly rating you on their petty scales. When your family starts worrying about your decisions that you haven’t taken yet. Then, my friend, you start realizing how the society has managed to win. Maybe for a brief period of time. But it has won. And it will keep winning till you stop this race. Till you stop thinking if you are reaching the shore faster or slower. Till you stop thinking if you are earning more or less. Till you start focusing only on things that matter, that you want to pursue.

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