Love happens only once. Okay, maybe twice. Fine, five times. Okay, ten times it is.
We all come from typical Indian families. The common thing that defines all of us and our culture is the cultural hypocrisy. The fact how every other guy who is in love with any other girl is not accepted in our culture. So what if Lord Krishna dated Radha? Are you Lord Krishna? Or Radha? Is this tenth century or what? We have modernised and dating is totally unacceptable.
Often we get to hear statements like “Unki to family against hai Love marriage ke”. The word ‘Unki’ is a general word used for Indians. Ever wondered why there is this popular culture of labelling love marriages as uncultural? A thousand times? Yes. I too have.
60% of Indians belong to middle class families. Families which can afford education till college but after that, there is this sudden and drastic change that occurs in the dad’s financial condition and the boy or the girl is asked to start living on your own or help out in the dad’s business or office. Yes, those kind of families. Families which think that dating is a wastage of time and money and that love doesn’t exist. Families which make the kid independent but then interferes in his or her personal space like uninvited guests.
And it’s not their fault. We are built that way. This society is built that way. We have been following certain rules blindly. Why do we feel scared of telling our parents about our girlfriend or boyfriend? Because one, they will blame every failure of ours on our relationship; two, they will blame every failure of theirs on our relationship and three, because they think Love marriage isn’t acceptable. Again, it’s not their fault.
Maybe we have been brought up this way. Our ideologies have not evolved. We are simply adjusting. Simply putting in that extra effort of keeping our relationships a secret.
We adjust because we know they won’t understand. And they adjusted because they knew their parents wouldn’t have understood. But it has to stop. Somewhere. The culture of thinking that dating or love marriages doesn’t belong to our culture has to change. After all, who wants to run away and get married? Who wants to be in that situation of choosing one or the other? The best solution would be to avoid any such situation. All of us have responsibilities in different aspects of our lives, we should take care to not add an extra one.
I hope this culture will change someday. Like we will really go and ask our parents if we marry this girl or that boy and they will nod and smile and hug you. Unless the girl is carrying your child. In that case, they will beat the fuck out of you.